Maybe a life update?

Nights in balconies.A steaming cup of coffee by my side.A breeze that gently slaps you on the face in a way that reminds you to take a break at life and just breathe! Sounds of aeroplanes flying by and when you look up to see that little flashing light, your eyes meet a sky so clear. You can hardly see any stars but you see a slightly covered moon, which knows you are a selenophile, so it disappears as soon as you start staring at its beauty. And then it appears again, oh wow! Maybe it loves a little attention.Dogs barking from a distance. Trees beautifully swaying like they actually got some life in them.Lights of all colours from the immediate and distant neighborhood- some still, some blinking , others from moving cars, oh how they beautifully illuminate the night! I am a lover of all these little things, I love night time. And I love this night because I am writing a piece for the first time in a long time. ( PS: I ended up not completing it on this night).

 How do I even apologize to my loyal readers when I have no solid reason as to why I ghosted our little world? Many of you have been asking me why I stopped writing, and instead of feeling guilty I always giggle when that happens, because I am usually like, 'So people actually enjoyed reading my pieces? Wow!' Now since it would be rude to go straight to the next write-up without apologies, let me explain myself a little. Well, maybe a lot.

When I started blogging, I really didn't know where this was going ( I still don't know).I never knew that I will get as many views, neither did I intend to go commercial, and that made me not to commit to being consistent, sadly. Oh! I also couldn't tell how often my mind would be in the mood to come up with a piece, cause words don't come that easy sometimes, you know. So I just did the starting.

I wrote my first two posts when I was in my last semester in school. I used to live alone and I was often alone, so I'd often have moments of solitude and it's during those moments that my creativity is usually top notch. Well after school, it's been hard to have such moments, mostly because my mind has been all over the place. I am an overthinker, always been one. I overthink in the sense that I always want to find solutions to all the puzzles in my life. And the thing with puzzles is that you have to take calculated steps while you try to piece all the pieces together, or else it will take you so long to have everything figured out. We are all a part of something bigger, yeah?

After completing my last exams towards the end of April, I was so confused about what to do next. I often worried about how life after school will turn out, cause you never really know. I will talk about my son in another piece, but I had to make decisions that would be good for him and that was the tough part, especially because he was set to start school this year. 

Just after my exams , I really wanted to go on a roadtrip, light a bonfire somewhere and make a toast with friends , something like, 'Cheers to this happy ending.' Well that didn't happen.Good thing though, I went to visit one of my girlfriends in Kitale, hadn't seen her in like 3years, and that gave me the kind of break I needed.  She'd go to work and so I would have the whole day to myself, but in a new place, I enjoy that. In the evening we would catch up and cook some really nice food. I stayed there for a week and on the last weekend before I left, we visited Saiwa Swamp National Park. It's a soothing place to visit, except that we only saw monkeys and some little animal that looked like a baby antelope, it had horns and the colour of antelopes, but it was not even the size of a goat, and it was alone in some little bush, oh poor one! Mind you on Google map they have pictures of different kinds of wild animals.We were a little disappointed but we had fun and laughed our hearts out. 

I travelled back to Eldoret and then travelled home. I went back to my parents and my little human, only that this time he was no longer so little. He had so many questions about where mama had been and if I was gonna leave him  again. I told him that I completed school and he would say that to everyone including visitors who came home, 'My mum completed school.' He would follow me everywhere, by that I mean he would even stand at the bathroom door every night as I took a shower before bed. I was glad we didn't have to be apart again, I guess getting to be with him was my happiest part about completing school. We bonded more than ever.

It was so good spending time with both mum and dad. The two months I stayed home were the first time I ever spent so much time with both of them after growing up. You're probably wondering why, right?  My dad retired early last year, he was a banker for close to 30 years and he worked far from home. He would come home on  Saturday nights and leave on Sunday afternoon, mostly. The longest leaves he could take lasted like 2 weeks, and he was running other things on the side, so he was always busy. Now if you read my previous piece you know I went to boarding school in class two , which means sometimes his leave days would find us in school, and school never stopped till this year. 

For two months, we sat at the same dinner table literally every night, that meant so much to me.I got to see my dad washing his duvets like a pro, that came by surprise for sure. Some evenings he would watch news on TV while neatly folding his clothes and I'd watch him in smiles. I never knew this side of him. I got to notice the paths each one of them has chosen to take in matters health. My mum does intermittent fasting, doesn't consume red meat, takes detox herbs and takes a concoction of garlic, ginger, lemon and honey almost every day. My dad, on the other hand, hardly misses any meal and is less selective, but does work outs. He also hates it when he goes a few days without taking fruits. Both of them committed to less-sugar intake a few years ago. Enough of that because there is so much to say about them.

In July, I took a leap of faith and moved to Nairobi with my son. There was so much uncertainty about how life was going to turn out but I didn't want fear to lead me. By that I mean I had no source of income and I didn't know for how long I was going to be jobless.Yet there I was, making moves as if I had everything figured out. I never paid any bills by myself throughout campus, my dad did. This was the first time I was having to manoeuvre all that.

To be frank, life has been whooping my ass. I have managed to stay sane though, sometimes I wonder how. I have been surviving by grace for real, God's grace and the support of genuine friends, friends that hold your hand as you try to find your way. To everyone looking for a constant source of income, may we all be so lucky!

See you on the next one, folks!